If you've been friends with me longer than about 3 days, you know I'm a worrier. BIG worrier.
For me, it comes back to my need for control (that's a whole other post). I worry. And when I worry, I plan. I think this escalated around the separation/divorce time, but it's always been an issue and hasn't gotten better with time.
My mind tells me that if I have a plan for EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME to a situation, then I can be in control of it. I can control my emotions, my reactions, and my responses. Makes sense, right?
No. Because there is ALWAYS more than a couple of outcomes. So I send myself into this....never-ending vortex of possibilities; and then those possibilities have a million ways they could go. It's just not an ok thing for me to let happen. It's why my Dr. treats me for anxiety.
So then....this happens. I bought this book a few weeks ago. I had it in my Amazon cart forever, and finally clicked buy.
Fast forward a few weeks, and I (ironically) find the time to sit down and read the first lesson.
Well dag-gum. hah! It's titled "Turning Worry into Worship".
Oh, Hi God. Are You talking to me?
Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come"
I'm not sure I fully understood the last half of this verse until tonight. Sure, everyone sees the first half. As women of the church, we strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman. We aim for strength and dignity. But the last half of that y'all. She laughs. NOT because she's careless, but she's confident that God has her. As the devotional states:
"God knows our future as well as He knows us"
The lesson instructs the reader to list their 3 great worries, and pen a prayer to God. This blog is about transparency, always. So here's my three current, greatest worries.
1. I worry that my girls will grow up "damaged" from their unconventional childhood.
2. I worry that I will be unable to financially support my children into adulthood.
3. I worry that I will never be "enough".
What are yours? Can you give them to God? Let's make one of our "New Year's resolutions" an effort to worry a little less and trust God a lot more.